Monday, January 24, 2005

Johnny Carson 1/23/05

Well another member of the Trinity of Late Night (Paar, Carson, and Letterman) passed away this weekend. I was a really big fan of Johnny Carson and wish that the show he left wasn't as bad as it is now. For some reason when I think of the The Tonight Show I think of Don Rickles, Joan Embry (you know who she is, right), and there was a weird mime-ish thing called "Momenshants" (that's not spelled right I don't think) that I always remember being on. I actually do a Carson impersonation but its more of a Dana Carvey doing Carson type thing but whatever. Johnny knew how to retire, he left TV and then was spotted less often than a Sasquatch, from all accounts he was a pretty quiet guy. Rest in Peace Johnny.

Okay now on to the tunes. Since I was such a big Johhn fan he gets two versions. The first is the regular standard version and the second one is how Leno killed the Tonight Show. Do you know how Leno killed it? Doing the same bits every week and having Carrot Top on the show on a regular basis. How can more people watch Leno than Letterman? Baffles the mind the stupidity of Americans. There is hope on the way though I believe in 2007 Conan O'Brien moves to the big show. Conan does a really funny show if you haven't seen it you should be ashamed of yourself. Something tells me though that Pimpbot and the masturbating bear may not make the move to 10:35 with Conan.

Standard version:
Goodbye Johnny Carson
Thought I knew you pretty well
You had the grace to entertain us well
Don Rickles sure would tell
You crawled out of Nebraska
With some magic tricks in your had
Became a TV icon
Some times a ventriloquist dummy in your hand

And it seemed to me that you lived your life
Like a candle in the wind
Never knowing when to say
“I did not know that” once again
And it seemed like I did know you
Since I was just a kid
Your candle burned out long before
Your legend ever did.

Here's the other one sort of aboout Johnny and how Jay Leno killed the Tonight Show:
Goodbye Johnny Carson
Thought I knew you pretty well
Why they give you show to a guy
And his unfunny jokes he tells
He crawled out of stand up
With a large chin and some fame
Became a late night staple
How’d that beat Letterman again?

And it seemed to me he ruined the show
A bull in a china shop did
I wish he would retire
So I could see Conan once again
And it seemed like I knew it
Since I was a kid
Doing the same unfunny bits
Like Carson never did.